Comments on: High Anxiety of Getting Into College http://www.uscollegesearch.org/blog/guidance-counselor-resources/high-anxiety-of-getting-into-college/ U.S. College Search - Blog Wed, 24 Jun 2009 06:34:04 -0500 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 hourly 1 By: A frustrated parent http://www.uscollegesearch.org/blog/guidance-counselor-resources/high-anxiety-of-getting-into-college/comment-page-1/#comment-361 A frustrated parent Tue, 10 Apr 2007 17:14:58 +0000 http://www.uscollegesearch.org/blog/uncategorized/high-anxiety-of-getting-into-college/#comment-361 I am a parent of a son who graduated with Ms. Coll's daughter from the fictional high school described in her book. It is truly crazy out there and our children are the ones who suffer. Although my husband and I tried not to pressure our son, it was pervasive in our community. My son was competing against children whose parents condoned cheating and did whatever it took to give their offspring the extra edge, often at the expense of others. Parents forced their children to engage in activities in which they had no interest just to bolster their college "resume," and the students felt burned out in their senior year and into college. The students reflected their parents elitism and often expressed distain at the college choices of students who did not have stellar GPAs. April was very stressful for students who did not get into their Early Decision colleges or who applied regular decision. In May, the school published in the student newspaper, the college choices of all of the students. I can only imagine the humiliation of those students who were not followingmthe typical path of students at the school. Guidance counselors, who were well meaning and wanted to enhance the college choices of their students, pushed children into AP courses which were totally inappropriate. For example, my son was clearly interested in majoring in the Social Sciences and wanted to take AP Statistics. He was steered into AP Calculus without the appropriate foundation because it looked better on his application. It was such a struggle for him that it lowered his GPA anyway. I also lay the blame on the colleges themselves. I naively assumed that the care anad shaping of young minds was the primary mission of colleges. Boy, was I mistaken? Colleges are big business. My son was barraged with marketing materials from several top schools.The goalwastoget him to apply so the school could reject him, thereby increasing its selectivity rating in US News and World Report. Schools were buying top students rather then giving out aid to needy students. This also boosted their standards in the ratings. A lot seemed to be driven by ratings and contributions from alums not on the undergraduate experience. In the final analysis, my son ended up attending his number 5 school, which surprisingly happened to be a "reach" as dubbed by the counselors. It turned out to be a good fit in reality if not "on paper." The school took a chance on my son's outstanding passions and contributions to his high school rather than his respectable but not outstanding grades and SAT scores. He gets the chance to be around good minds and has small classes in which he can exchange ideas,which he loves to do. He has not pursued the extracurricular activities that he did in high school but is devoting time to sports, which provide needed exercise and stress reduction and a fraternity, which enhances his social skills and sense of community. He also did community service not because it was required but because it was meaningful and fun for him. All I can say is relax and let your child be who (s)he is.If parents and those who support children don't get caught up in the game, there will be no one to play it and the rules, as we know them now, will have to change. I am a parent of a son who graduated with Ms. Coll’s daughter from the fictional high school described in her book. It is truly crazy out there and our children are the ones who suffer. Although my husband and I tried not to pressure our son, it was pervasive in our community. My son was competing against children whose parents condoned cheating and did whatever it took to give their offspring the extra edge, often at the expense of others. Parents forced their children to engage in activities in which they had no interest just to bolster their college “resume,” and the students felt burned out in their senior year and into college.

The students reflected their parents elitism and often expressed distain at the college choices of students who did not have stellar GPAs. April was very stressful for students who did not get into their Early Decision colleges or who applied regular decision. In May, the school published in the student newspaper, the college choices of all of the students. I can only imagine the humiliation of those students who were not followingmthe typical path of students at the school.

Guidance counselors, who were well meaning and wanted to enhance the college choices of their students, pushed children into AP courses which were totally inappropriate. For example, my son was clearly interested in majoring in the Social Sciences and wanted to take AP Statistics. He was steered into AP Calculus without the appropriate foundation because it looked better on his application. It was such a struggle for him that it lowered his GPA anyway.

I also lay the blame on the colleges themselves. I naively assumed that the care anad shaping of young minds was the primary mission of colleges. Boy, was I mistaken? Colleges are big business. My son was barraged with marketing materials from several top schools.The goalwastoget him to apply so the school could reject him, thereby increasing its selectivity rating in US News and World Report. Schools were buying top students rather then giving out aid to needy students. This also boosted their standards in the ratings. A lot seemed to be driven by ratings and contributions from alums not on the undergraduate experience.

In the final analysis, my son ended up attending his number 5 school, which surprisingly happened to be a “reach” as dubbed by the counselors. It turned out to be a good fit in reality if not “on paper.” The school took a chance on my son’s outstanding passions and contributions to his high school rather than his respectable but not outstanding grades and SAT scores.
He gets the chance to be around good minds and has small classes in which he can exchange ideas,which he loves to do. He has not pursued the extracurricular activities that he did in high school but is devoting time to sports, which provide needed exercise and stress reduction and a fraternity, which enhances his social skills and sense of community. He also did community service not because it was required but because it was meaningful and fun for him.

All I can say is relax and let your child be who (s)he is.If parents and those who support children don’t get caught up in the game, there will be no one to play it and the rules, as we know them now, will have to change.

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